Saturday, June 22, 2013

Little Miss Muffet


It was a VERY stressful morning two days ago. I got up, all excited that it was cool out which meant Tommy and I could go to this great street that is very Chinese with all these little shop (the street is called Shantang). 
Shantang Street from a while back.

Anyway, I go into the living room and see that our long curtains are stuck in the screen door. I pull them out and a HUGE JUNE BUG freaking drops on my foot. So I scream and dance away (and it was QUITE a scream, very: AHHAHAAA).
Not the actual June Bug just another horrific one for  you to consider while reading to understand the reason for my immense distress.

After my initial horrified shock has passed, I'm staring at this thing and it looks dead so I'm considering texting Tommy about the drama and trauma of this event when suddenly it starts moving which I totally feared it would having watched an episode of Doctor Who last night where the cybermat "played possum" as Matt Smith said with air quotes included.

"Playing Possum" with Matt Smith
So I grab some kleenex to pick it up because I can't squish it because it has that hard exoskeleton and I'm thinking I will absolutely gag if it crunches under my delicate fingers. Anyway, I'm going for a scooping method of picking up and I'm using two kleenex lest I am somehow able to feel the June Bug more under one kleenex. So I'm scooping away but I drop the June Bug again and it starts moving again so I scream again.

Self-evident: Me screaming at picking up the bug.

Deciding I'm so so done with this evil gross bug, (and all the screaming because my neighbors probably thinking I'm being murdered at this point) I snatch the June Bug up real quick and fling it onto our balcony and slam the screen door shut. Then I stand there with my heart racing while I watch the thing start twitching back to life to scuttle away.

So. Traumatic.

And during my whole bug molestation, Tommy was at work. Andddddd when he came home he was BARELY sympathetic. It was atrocious. What will marriage bring? I mean I survived something major here and Tommy is like, would you rather it had dropped on your shirt instead of your foot? -___-

Because bugs, BIG bugs, and Michelle simply do not mix:   

What Little Miss Muffet actually experienced.


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